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The Authenticity Trend: Is Being Your True Self Always the Best Choice?

Safa Rubaye, MD
August 1, 2024
"Vertical Thoughts" acrylic on canvas, by: Safa Rubaye
The trend of "being authentic" has gained significant traction in recent years. From social media influencers promoting raw, unfiltered content to self-help gurus urging people to live their "truth," authenticity has become a buzzword in contemporary culture. But is being authentic always the best approach? While authenticity can foster genuine connections and self-acceptance, it's important to recognize that being authentic doesn't always equate to being kind, respectful, or considerate. This article explores the complexities of the authenticity trend, arguing that while authenticity has its merits, it's not always the best policy. Sometimes, a little faking or pretending is necessary.

When we talk about authenticity, we're often referring to the idea of being true to ourselves—displaying our genuine emotions and intentions. This concept has deep roots in how humans have interacted over millennia. In the early days of human societies, being genuine was crucial for survival. Trust and cooperation within small groups were essential, and showing true emotions helped build that trust and ensure group cohesion. As these groups grew and societies became more complex, so did the need for sophisticated social interactions, leading to the development of social norms and etiquette. Authenticity was a fundamental part of these early social structures, helping individuals navigate social hierarchies and build alliances. This idea is widely discussed among anthropologists and psychologists, including the work of Robin Dunbar, who explores social bonding in human evolution, and Richard Wrangham, who has written extensively about the evolution of cooperation and social norms (Dunbar, 1993; Wrangham, 2009).

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So, how does this play out in today's world? The rise of the authenticity trend can be attributed to a broader societal shift towards valuing transparency and vulnerability. In a world dominated by curated social media profiles and staged photos, people crave realness. They want to see the imperfect, messy sides of others because it makes them feel less alone in their own imperfections. Psychologically, this trend can be explained by the concept of "social comparison theory," where individuals compare themselves to others to assess their own worth and capabilities (Festinger, 1954). Authenticity allows people to present themselves without the pressure of meeting unrealistic standards.

Now, authenticity can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, being authentic can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships. It allows for genuine connections and fosters an environment of trust. For instance, sharing personal struggles can create a sense of solidarity and mutual support among friends and family. On the other hand, authenticity can sometimes mean expressing negative emotions like anger, rudeness, or even cruelty. For example, a person might genuinely feel anger towards a colleague, but expressing this anger in a hostile manner can harm professional relationships and create a toxic work environment. Similarly, someone might authentically dislike a family member, but being openly rude at a family gathering can cause unnecessary conflict and hurt.

While authenticity can help build trust and genuine connections, people generally prefer to see the best version of others. This doesn't mean being fake but rather exercising restraint and consideration in social interactions. For instance, being polite and courteous even when you're in a bad mood shows respect for others and maintains social harmony. In contrast, constantly airing every negative thought and emotion can lead to social isolation and strained relationships.

It's also important to distinguish between healthy authenticity and behaviors that may indicate underlying mental health issues. For some, an inability to regulate emotions or constant negativity may signal conditions such as depression or anxiety. It's crucial to approach this with sensitivity, avoiding the pathologization of normal behavior while being mindful of when professional help may be needed.

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Interestingly, there are situations where faking it can be beneficial. For example, in a job interview, presenting yourself as confident and capable—even if you feel nervous and insecure—can increase your chances of being hired. This isn't about being dishonest but about putting your best foot forward. Similarly, in social situations, pretending to be interested in a conversation, even when you're not, can foster better relationships and show respect for the other person.

However, pretending and faking it should be used judiciously. Over-reliance on these tactics can lead to feelings of inauthenticity and disconnect from one's true self. Chronic faking can contribute to emotional exhaustion and even depression. It's important to strike a balance between being authentic and presenting the best version of yourself, recognizing when it's appropriate to prioritize one over the other.

The trend of "being authentic" is a response to the pressures of a highly curated and often superficial world. While authenticity can foster genuine connections and self-acceptance, it's important to recognize that being authentic isn't always synonymous with being positive or respectful. People generally prefer to see the best version of others, which often requires a level of restraint and consideration. However, there are times when faking it can be beneficial, especially in professional or social contexts. Ultimately, the key is to find a balance that allows for genuine self-expression while maintaining respect and consideration for others.

References:
Dunbar, R. I. M. (1993). Coevolution of neocortical size, group size and language in humans. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 16(4), 681-694.
Wrangham, R. (2009). Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human. Basic Books.
Festinger, L. (1954). A Theory of Social Comparison Processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117-140.
Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social Comparisons on Social Media: The Impact of Facebook on Young Women's Body Image Concerns and Mood. Body Image, 13, 38-45.
If you have any thoughts about this topic, please leave a comment below.
Safa Rubaye, MD
A psychiatrist, artist, entrepreneur, and educator who is committed to advancing mental health care through expertise, leadership, and ongoing learning. Passionate about improving lives through compassionate, evidence-based psychiatry.

This article is meant to provide general information and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult your doctor to discuss the potential advantages and disadvantages of any treatment.

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